Linda and Dave's Story
In April of 1999 my brother Dave moved from his home of 36 years
on Long Island New York to Seattle to live with my husband and me.
His post office job transfer had finally gone through after two
years of trying - so two weeks before our father’s death he arrived
to begin a new life.
I had done a lot of worrying prior to the move. Dave had grown up
with three siblings in Northport and knew just about everyone there.
How would it be for him to arrive as a forty year old adult in
Seattle where he knew no one but my husband and me? The post office
facility where he would be working as a mail handler was miles away
and much larger than the one he had grown used to back home. How
would he manage? How would he cope with living in the city? How
would Rick and I adjust to this new 6’ 4” addition to our household?
My dad had spent a lot of time following the death of our mother
in 1986 worrying about Dave’s future, but he was never able to find
options that he felt comfortable with, so he clung to Dave until
events took over. I think that if there had been a LifeSPAN
organization on Long Island things might have been much easier and
less isolating for him.
Fortunately there was a very young but determined LifeSPAN
organization here in Seattle, which I learned of when a flyer
inviting me to a 7 Steps workshop arrived in the mail. I was
desperate for information and the sense that perhaps I wasn’t
completely alone in this new situation so I signed up.
The workshop was offered by Kathy Sellars and Val Ohlstrom who
are dedicated founding board members of LifeSPAN. They engaged me
and the other participants in a step by step discussion of the
issues facing families who wish to plan a "safe and secure future
for their loves ones with a disability." I had been putting out
fires up to that point so it was wonderful to find the opportunity
to take a deep breath and a good look at the things that needed to
happen one by one with other people who were involved in thinking
through similar issues both from the perspective of parents and
siblings like me.
I became an associate member and I watched the organization grow
by degrees as Dave established himself at work, in his new church
and in our neighborhood. Last winter, after speaking with him about
it for some time, I decided to join as a lifetime member and begin a
network for Dave. LifeSPAN found us a fabulous facilitator in
John Perkins and the process
of building Dave’s network has proved to be an interesting one
driven by Dave’s many hobbies and interests.
I am now on the LifeSPAN board and Dave is doing great. We are
looking for an apartment for him in our neighborhood where I know
that with support from his network he will enjoy a very good life
indeed.
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